Ken's blog

It was a sunny, fluffy-cloud afternoon on an idyllic beach in the Caribbean. Sam was chatting up a blonde, fashion-model type girl at a table adjoining a beach snack bar. Her name was Heidi and she was from Vienna.

“When I get to Vienna one of these days – which, by the way, might be very soon – I would really like to see you,” said Sam, flashing a charming smile and taking a hefty swig from his beer bottle.

“Yu are velkom to kom to mein haus eef you ken find it,” laughed Heidi.

“Just give me the address and I’ll be there for sure, no problem,” said Sam confidently with a sweeping gesture of his arm.

“Eef yu say yu ken do dis, Sem. Eet ees a fery long street, de Kaiserstrasse, end I am on ze side dat start with ze haus nummer won,” said Heidi with a mischievous glint in her eye, sipping some white wine.

“No problem, I like long streets,” countered Sam with a big grin, flexing his biceps. “And what’s the number?”

“I vil tell yu, Sem. De sum of ze numbers of ze hausen before mein haus nummer is equal to ze sum of ze nummers of ze hausen after mein haus nummer. Eef yu can vork zat aus, I vil be glad to see yu, Sem,” said Heidi.

Sam was taking notes on a napkin. “Right… Very interesting.”

“Eef yu join zese too haus nummers end prefix 699 yu vil haf my lokal fone nummer so yu ken kall me ven yu kom,” added Heidi.

“Hmm,” said Sam. “What do you do for a living, Heidi?”

“Ai em ein mazematik prefessor at ze universitet. Maibee I see you suun, Sem. Haf to go now to zee my brother Arnold,” said Heidi, downing her white wine.

Heidi grabbed her bag and left, leaving Sam holding his beer bottle in a confused and puzzled state of mind.

Can you help Sam meet up with Heidi?

In a late autumn afternoon, Jill was sitting under a tree on a campus hill looking despondent,  elbows on her knees and hands holding up her head. Sunlight was fading while yellowish and brown leaves floated erratically down from trees.

Distracted, she did not notice that Jack was approaching from below.

“Hi Jill, you look unhappy,” said Jack. “Want to tell me about it?” He sat nimbly down beside her.

“I think my math professor, Mr. Torquemada, doesn’t like me,” moaned Jill. “He gave me an assignment I have to turn in tomorrow and explain in class, and I can’t figure out head or tails of the problem,” she said shaking her head with a forlorn expression on her face.

“Why don’t you explain the problem to me, maybe I can think of something,” offered Jack with a sympathetic smile, placing his hand lightly on her back.

Jill sighed deeply. “Ok, Jack, here goes:”

“Eight young couples went to the Texas Combo Farm Equipment and Livestock Market to make purchases for the farms they were establishing to form an ecological farming enclave.

The husbands’ names were Henry, Archie, Guiseppe, Pavel, Heinz, Juan, Erik and Shu Wu. The names of their wives were Elfrida, Gunnhilde, Lola, Mary, Teresa, Sally, Jasmine and Lulu.

They all bought the same number of an item as the price of the item in dollars.

It turned out that, respectively, all of the husbands spent 945 dollars more than their wives.

Guiseppe bought 35 more chickens than Lola. Pavel spent 2673 dollars more than Elfrida. Erik bought 95 more pigs than Lulu. Henry spent about one fifth as much as Heinz. Juan bought just about twice as many cows as Sally. Jasmine bought more items than any of the other wives. Mary bought thrice the number of seed bags as Lola. Erik spent about three times as much as Gunnhilde, and relatively a little bit more than Teresa.

 How much did Shu Wu spend, and what was the name of his wife?”

“What a muddle, Jill. What did you do to upset him?”

“Professor Torquemada invited me to a friendly Saturday night dance at his fraternity’s house, where he is a supervisor, and I turned him down, somewhat abruptly I’m afraid,“ explained Jill.

“Oh, I see,” replied Jack, suppressing a laugh.

“Jill, I am taking a course in computer programming and figure that this is an easy problem to solve with a few lines of code,” said Jack encouragingly.

“Please  help me with this, Jack,” pleaded Jill. “I would naturally compensate you somehow,” offering a demure smile.

“Deal,” said Jack. “Come with me. I know a place where we can write some code. I think a double loop will do the job,” he added.

“What’s a double loop?” wondered Jill.

“I’ll show you later.”

Jill jumped up, gathered her books and followed Jack down the hill.

Fred, Marcus and Seamour and their wives went to a winery to buy bottles of wine for a party they would be holding for family and friends. The wives’ names were Gracie, Mabel and Lucy, not respectively.

Both the husbands and the wives bought the same number of bottles as the price of the bottles in each case.

The men each bought 72 dollars worth of wine more than their respective wives.

Marcus bought 6 fewer bottles than Lucy and Fred bought 16 more bottles than Mabel.

What do you say were the names of the wives of Fred, Marcus and Seamour, respectively?

Sheikh Ali ben Sharif ibn Baba’s reign was passing through turbulent times, so he decided to make a will.

The Sheikh felt that he might soon move on to happier spheres and wanted to divide his wealth among his living sons. Sheikh Ali ben Sharif ibn Baba had many wives, properties, houses, tents, camels, goats and great wealth.

“Mustafa, in addition to the oldest one inheriting my title and goods, I want to give an equal monetary sum to all my living sons after I pass away,” he instructed his trusted right-hand man, who wore a red fez with tassels.

“You will divide 275 million dollars among them equally, but only with my living sons. The shares of those who are no longer alive will be available equally for my living sons. The former will have joined me in my heavenly kingdom and won’t need any more dollars.”

“Your wish is my command, master,” replied Mustafa, the loyal servant, bowing reverently.

Some time later, Sheikh Ali ben Sharif ibn Baba passed away to his heavenly abode and Mustafa got busy carrying out the instructions of his master’s will.

After all accounts were settled, it turned out that each surviving son received 14 million dollars more than he would have received if all of Sheikh Ali ben Sharif ibn Baba’s sons at the time of making the will had been alive.

The surviving sons were overjoyed at their good fortune. Mustafa was happy to have fulfilled his master’s wishes and started his duties with the new Sheikh, Abdullah.

How many sons did Sheikh Ali ben Sharif ibn Baba have at the time of making his will, and how many survived him?

Fred, a mathematician, was walking leisurely down a sunny street on a Saturday afternoon when he spotted his colleague Leonard that he had run into not so long ago.

“Hello Leonard, nice to see you again.

“Likewise, Fred, I see you are well,” replied Leonard, shaking his hand.

“Last time we met we spoke about my children, Fred. Do you have any children?“ queried Leonard.

“Yes, I do, I also have three children. I married your old girlfriend Jo Anne after you left for university,” said Fred.

“Really Fred, glad you two hit it off,” replied Leonard. “I wonder how old your children are.”

“As you are a colleague, I will give you the answer in a mental package as you gave me before,” smiled Fred.

“Ok, shoot,” said Leonard.

“The sum of the square of the ages of Bill and Mary add up to the sum of twice the product of Mary’s and Leo’s ages plus thrice Leo’s age. When Bill is twice as old as he is now he will be one year younger than Mary at that time and one year older than Leo at that time,” informed Fred with a magnanimous grin.

“Hmm, Fred, a bit muddy, could you give me some more information,” said Leonard.

“The sum of their ages when Bill is twice as old as he is now will be 36,” offered Fred.

“Well, that’s better,” replied Leonard, thought a moment and offered Fred the correct ages of his children.

“Let’s head over to a fine café I know of down the street for a nice chat,” said Leonard.

What do you say are the ages of Fred’s children?

“Langhorne, we have to reduce the number of stiffs from gunfights, Boot Hill is getting full,” said Sheriff Wilbur Harp of Gravestone, Arizona to sheriff Langhorne Dillon of Dead Man’s Butte.

“Some tighter rules are needed for sure, Wilbur,” agreed Langhorne Dillon, emitting a brown streak of chewing tobacco toward a spittoon in the corner of the Bird Cage saloon.

“I propose to limit gunfights to between 12 noon and 1 pm, while people are eating,” said Wilbur Harp, sending his own brown streak to the spittoon over a cocktail waitress dressed in red who was leaning over to refill their whisky glasses.

“At your service, boys,” she smiled and wiggled away to the bar.

“Yes, Wilbur, and they can show up at any time between noon and 1 pm and must wait for fifteen minutes. If the other party doesn’t show up, the gunfight is cancelled, violations punished with jail time,” added Langhorne Dillon.

“I agree, Langhorne, but for Gravestone I prefer a ten minute wait,” interjected Wilbur Harp.

“Ok, Wilbur, and the procedure should be monitored by our deputies,” added Langhorne Dillon, stuffing his nose with some snuff.

“To limit things further, they will only have one bullet in the barrel, can spin the barrel and shoot up to three times,” said Wilbur Harp, spinning the barrel of his Colt .45 single-action revolver, causing a nervous ducking reaction of people at the tables in the saloon.

“That’s ok, Wilbur, but in Dead Man’s Butte I prefer that they don’t spin the barrel, but keep shooting up to three times – to be monitored by my deputy Leonard,” said Langhorne Dillon.

“Fine by me, Langhorne,” said Wilbur Harp, sending another brown streak through the air in the direction of the spittoon, just missing the bartender walking by. “Let’s compare statistics at the end of the year to see which procedure is the most effective for reducing the number of stiffs, yours or mine,” he added.

“Right, Wilbur, assuming our current rate of one gunfight per day continues for a year, I’ll ask my deputy Leonard to work out the figures,” said Langhorne Dillon. “With the Clinton gang in operation rustling cattle from Mexico, I don’t figure the current rate will drop much,” added sheriff Dillon.

“Yeah, I know what you mean, Langhorne. Settled then, let’s see if Leonard’s calculations will be accurate,” sheriff Wilbur Harp, emitted another brown streak and downed a shot glass of whisky.

Given this information, can you work out how many coffins  the undertakers of Gravestone and Dead Man’s Butte are likely to need, respectively, during the coming year?

Once upon a time, long ago in an enchanted land, a young deer poacher was hauled before King Arthur by Cuthbert of Sodshire, the local sheriff, who threw down the slain deer on the stone slab floor before King Arthur’s feet.

“Look Sire, as you can see, this strapping young miscreant was caught in the act of poaching in the King’s forest. Sire, he deserves to be hanged,” proclaimed Cuthbert of Sodshire solemnly.

“We shall see, sheriff Cuthbert of Sodshire,” said King Arthur.

“What’s your name, lad? Your face seems familiar,” asked King Arthur, leaning forward with interest.

“John of the Brook, Sire,” answered the lad timidly, brushing his blond locks away from his eyes.

“I say, John of the Brook, are you the son of Gorlois of the Brook, the blacksmith, who saved princess Evaine from a roaming, fire-breathing dragon by burning its foot with a red hot iron?” inquired the King, indicating the fair princess Evaine by his side, who was looking on with interest.

“Yes, Sire, I am the son of my brave father Gorlois of the Brook,” said John of the Brook, legs trembling less.

“Well then, John of the Brook, I will ask you a question. If you can answer it correctly you will go free, otherwise, to maintain discipline, you will be hung from the tree Yggdrasil forthwith,” said King Arthur solemnly.

“Sire, I eh say, what… what is the question you would ask?” stammered young John of the Brook.

King Arthur spoke gravely, raising his scepter: “I am thrice as old as my sister Morgan le Fay was when I was her age. When she is as old as I am the sum of our ages will be 91. What are our ages?” he said, looking attentively at John of the Brook.

“Sire, please give me a moment to think, and I will answer you true,” said John of the Brook, took a deep breath and entered into a meditative state, fixing his gaze on a distant horizon.

After a few minutes of contemplation, John of the Brook gave his answer resolutely to King Arthur.

“Correct you are, John of the Brook, well done,” exclaimed King Arthur. “Sheriff Cuthbert of Sodshire, take this clever lad to Merlin for an apprenticeship and arrange for a venison feast,” commanded King Arthur.

John of the Brook bowed before King Arthur and broke out in a wide smile as he was escorted off by the scowling sheriff Cuthbert of Sodshire.

Princess Evaine retired demurely to her quarters to prepare for the feast.

What do you say are the ages of King Arthur and Morgan le Fay?

The farm of Elmer Mudd in Texas is a large one stocked with horses, longhorn cows, and chickens – all managed by some farm hands.

The number of horns, heads, wings and tails of the horses, cows, chickens and farm hands equals the number of legs.

If there are four farm hands, how many chickens, horses and cattle do they manage?

The 98-year-old and widowered multi-billionaire Sir Horatio Holmes summoned his two sons, James and Arthur, and his daughter Guinevere, for an inheritance chat at his country estate “The Meadows.” Jeeves, the butler was also present.

“Welcome children, I will be leaving you for the parallel world within a month, so I have decided to divide up your inheritance,” he announced with a fatherly smile.

“But father,” protested the three, “you are not that old yet. You certainly look quite young.”

“Yes indeed, as you all know my daily Five Tibetan exercises keep my chakras spinning at a young man’s rate,” he laughed. There’s no need to be decrepit in one’s old age. As I have told you often, my advice is to stay away from doctor’s prescriptions, use natural food and medicine, exercise well and think young.”

“No matter, I have completed what I came here to learn and wish to move on for further development of my capabilities until the next time,” Sir Holmes stated firmly. “I will give you one week’s notice so you can attend my departure with a proper orange-light ceremony and sandalwood incense.”

James, Arthur and Guinevere nodded acquiescence as they had long since learned that it was futile to argue with their father.

“Very well,” said Sir Holmes, “let us proceed.”

“You, James, take one third of the gold coins from the pile placed on the desk. Each gold coin represents a billion pounds sterling. The sun suddenly shone through the window reflecting its golden rays from the coins.

James counted the gold coins in the pile. “Father,” he said, “there is one coin too many to divide the pile into three equal parts.

“No matter, give one to Jeeves,” chuckled Sir Holmes.

James gave one of the gold coins to the smiling Jeeves and removed one third of the coins from the pile.

“Now it’s your turn, Arthur,” said Sir Holmes.

Arthur counted the remaining coins, finding one too many to divide into three parts. At that very moment a crow flew in the window and grabbed one gold coin in its beak and flew out again before anyone could react.

“Blasted crow,” exclaimed Jeeves, shaking a fist in the direction of the window.

“I say,” said Arthur and took a third part of the remaining coins.

“Now it is your turn, Guinevere,” said Sir Holmes.

Guinevere counted the coins in the remaining pile. “There is one too many to divide by three,” said Guinevere.

“Jeeves, hurry up and take the coin before the crow does,” smiled Sir Holmes. Jeeves did not waste a millisecond.

Guinevere removed a third of the remaining coins from the pile.

“Father, there is one too many coins to be able to divide the pile further into three parts,” she stated.

“Give it to Jeeves and then divide the remaining coins equally among you three to be placed in trust for your children,” said Sir Holmes.

James, Arthur and Guinevere collected a third part each for their offspring, leaving no gold coins behind.

Jeeves bowed to Sir Holmes. “My undying gratitude to you Sir. Now, with your permission I’m going to get my shotgun to hunt crow,” rushing out the door after a nod from Sir Holmes.

“Thank  you so much, dear father,” they stated in unison.

“My pleasure, let’s have some lunch,” smiled Sir Holmes and escorted them out the door.

What was the minimum amount of Sir Holmes’ fortune?

Two fathers, Rocky and Max went with their sons Sandy and Beaver to a large bookstore to buy some books for their libraries.

Each family bought a total of $65 in books. For each person, the number of books bought was the same as the price of each book.

Rocky bought one more book than Beaver. Sandy only bought one book.

How many books did Max buy and who is Sandy’s father?